Are Adult Children of Alcoholics the forgotten client group?

Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA) are individuals who grew up in a household where one or both parents struggled with alcohol addiction.  This experience can have a profound impact on a person's emotional and psychological well-being, well into adulthood.

When defining an adult child of an alcoholic, it is not unusual for identification to be missed.  Many children who have parents with alcohol issues will often hide this from others – they protect the parent and deny the extent of the problem.

Both children and adults with alcoholic parents can present as fiercely loyal, and they can initially minimise the impact of the situation to others and even to themselves.  Although alcohol is widely accepted in our society, there is a stigma around alcoholism that negatively impacts the acceptance of what an alcohol problem really is.   

It’s not unusual to hear an ACoA play down their parents drinking because the parents worked, or drove, or because they had a nice home.  The reality is that alcohol problems do not always present as the cliché of an alcoholic figure, and that alcohol dependency can present in a variety of ways.

There are many people with alcohol issues that successfully hide it from the outside world, but this doesn’t mean that the effects are any less destructive within the family system.

‌In the UK it is estimated that one in five children grow up in a household with an alcohol problem.*

With such a high number of children being raised in environments where alcohol abuse is prevalent, and with growing awareness and support for both alcoholic parents and their children, there still appears to be limited support and understanding for those children once they reach adulthood.   Are adult children of alcoholics the forgotten client group?

It is imperative that healthcare professionals are aware of the potential impact this type of childhood can have on development and across a person’s lifespan.  It’s vital that ACoAs are validated and offered information and support, so that they may better understand themselves and begin a journey of healing and discovery.

As an experienced psychotherapist with lived experience as an ACoA, I have seen firsthand the challenges that come with navigating the complexities of this type of upbringing.

Many ACoAs struggle with issues like low self-esteem, trust, anger and shame.  They can struggle to form healthy relationships, and have a tendency towards self-destructive behaviours.  All of these challenges can manifest in various ways, including anxiety, depression, and substance abuse.

Postively, ACoAs often develop resilience, empathy, excellent communication skills and a strong sense of independence as a result of their experiences.

But living with an alcoholic parent is confusing.  There is often a lack of stability and consistency as the child learns to navigate what feels like two of each parent – the sober parent and the intoxicated parent.  This inconsistency can lead to a lifetime of suspicion and a state of constant hyper vigilance.

The chaos of living with a parent who has an alcohol problem can impact the ability to be transparent, as the child will likely have masked their own needs in favour of pleasing the parent.

In therapy, barriers like guilt and a fear of vulnerability often present, because it can be difficult for an ACoA to open up and trust a practitioner, particularly if they have experienced betrayal or abandonment in the past.  But therapy can be a powerful tool for healing and growth for this client group.

With an understanding of their unique challenges, therapists can help ACoA explore and process their experiences, develop coping strategies, reclaim their sense of self-worth, and build healthier relationships with themselves and others.

If you are a therapist or counsellor interested in learning more about working with adult children of alcoholics, I have created a brand-new training for you. More details are on my website here - sign up to get updates as each new course date is released.

As a qualified psychotherapist with personal and professional expertise in this area, I am passionate about sharing my knowledge and insights with others in the field, and I hope you can join me on this training.

Together, we can create a more compassionate and supportive environment for adult children of alcoholics to heal and thrive.

Reference*

Institute of Alcohol Studies, Jan 2024 Children of alcohol-dependent parents programme abandoned by government